Essential self-slowing, living Ayurveda, accepting eczema & a mini-win on screens

A sensitivity flare-up has forced me to slow down, withdraw, rest + reflect... and it's been another rich, if sometimes rocky week.

This week – a multitudinous mixed bag of a big mama letter… rooted in + growing from the HEART – I talk about really LISTENING to our inner voice, via the signals + signs of the body, the wisdom of Ayurveda, balancing herbs, managing screens + why it’s about bloody time we all slowed down a bit… 

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The urge to write sometimes feels like the rainwater caught in a pot in the garden… a single drop makes little impact, but the steady, insistent drip-drip-drip, builds up to something far greater than the sum of its parts… a torrent that breaches the rim, bursts its banks, and floods out and over… spilling, uncontainable.

And I’m familiar with that feeling… the steady build, like the pressure of desire in the pit of the stomach… and I love living with it, letting it be and grow, knowing it will take me where it needs to go, when it’s ready.

When it’s ready, I sit to write. A full lung, desperate to exhale.

Today is that day. SO much to spill out onto the page… 

There is also a book that needs to be written, for which a friend-goddess-editor granted me a 12-month extension… six months remain, and the scrawled notes + books are filling. I am getting there.

There have been the children to settle into new lives, schools, home and village… 

And a woman to find – this woman, mother, wife, daughter, sister – beneath the holding and hoping… a woman who had some time to see herself again, to listen to her body, to nourish and rest herself… to write down things that mattered, but to also be freer with herself… realising so much in her life had become serious… dark, heavy, silent, brooding.

I’m an odd mix, really. Deeply interested in health and wellbeing – always studying, learning, reading – but highly questioning and cynical, too (the journalist in me, I suppose).

Looking after myself looks like many different things, and they change, just like my mood, my hormones, my sleep, my skin, day to day. 

I’ve realised, these last few years, that my hunger to find things that plug the unmet needs I have, has also grown. That moment, I think, when we catch sight of ourselves – not the typical tired face in the mirror (that too, though), but the shift in self… where am I? Where’s my spark? My energy? My thunderous laugh? My light and joy and BEING?

Where is she? Who is she? 

And I let those questions hang in the spaces within my heart… and their answer is always bold + clear + true.

She’s waiting, for you to re-member her.
To hear her.
To hold her.
To love her.
Not when that last load of laundry’s done, or dishes washed, or bags packed, or everything put away… but now, right now… 
So I stand, I stretch, I move, I breathe…
I realise my thirst. My hunger. 
I cradle a hot cup, I close my eyes, I feel the steam on my skin, and return to my body.
I eat a meal without a mind in another place.
I sip tea with a still body; savour + slow.
I close my eyes, to remember my place.
I lie down, flat + heavy, to feel what it’s like to be held.
To have nothing else to hold.
Only my breath, my warmth, my love, my hope.
Waiting, within, for me to re-member myself.

And this week – via the channel of the heart – in several different ways, I’ve committed to doing just that. 

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7 Daily Doses for the Week Ahead

1. Slowing it down (AKA listening to the skin I’m in)

Things improving… but neck, eyelids + lips still pretty sore (& pink)

Last week I shared that I had a sudden, severe reaction to some laundry liquid (they were actually eco laundry ‘sheets’, but that’s by-the-by). 

I’ve had sensitivity reactions before (alongside eczema flare-ups + acute contact dermatitis), so you’d think I’d know the drill… if such a thing as a drill really existed with these complex, root-deep issues.

But what I’ve come to accept is that each reaction (whether on my hands, elbows, neck, eyes, lips) seems to be trying to show me something different. I do think it’s curious that my eyes + mouth + throat have been most affected this time – the portals to my sight + my voice. 

What does my body want me to RECOGNISE + HEAR? 
Or, more specifically, what have I been failing to SEE or SAY, myself?

According to Ayurveda, every visible ‘symptom’ and condition has a root cause. This is the approach of all traditional systems of holistic medicine, whether Ayurveda, Traditional Chinese Medicine or Unani. We may see a rash – and it’s possible that that rash was caused by something black-and-white like a contact irritant, such as a cleaning product, or poison ivy, for example, but Ayurveda’s approach sees the body’s response to that irritant as part of a much bigger picture. 

Why is it that a hundred people may come into contact with the same irritant, but only some will be affected? Or that some will be affected in different ways to others? 

Our bodies are a map of our choices, our DNA, our organs, our blood, our thoughts, feelings + functions. 

With a chronic condition such as eczema, the Western approach is to treat with topical corticosteroids, ointments (mostly made up of paraffin) and perhaps anti-itching or antihistamine medications. We treat the rash + its associated discomfort, without asking what caused it in the first place. And we deem it ‘chronic’ because there’s no forever-solution. We just keep treating the symptom – the surface – over + over again.